Having played my last down of football nearly 8 years ago, I am at the age now where many of my former teammates have children of their own, which is a thought that is all at once awe-inspiring and, admittedly, more than a bit mind-boggling. I'll save our readers the gory detail of these pranksters' former exploits (for personal as well as legal reasons) but suffice it to say that the image of many of my former teammates as caring fathers is evidence of at least two things:
1) People always and in all ways can change; and
2) Perhaps those videos we always see on "America's Funniest Simians" of the gorilla nursing a wounded feline back to health (a la http://www.panix.com/~sallitt/monkeyandcat.JPG*) are real.
For example, I spent a couple of days with Albert Traylor ('01) and his son Keenan a few weeks back. Keenan is 11 now, and rumor has it he can deep snap, pull and trap, and do the Chicken Noodle Soup dance (its the Harlem shake and the Tone Wop, basically). I once saw Big Al block a strong safety over past the opposing team's bench at Turpin Stadium and then, because the whistle hadn't blown yet, he cut block their head waterboy. And this same guy lovingly wiped off his son's mouth at a Rangers' game recently when he got a spot of chili on his cheek (by the way, the kid out ate all of us. Greg doesn't know this yet, and neither does Coach Stoker, but I already got a verbal commitment from him).
Derek "The Guv'nor" Fields ('98 and I believe '00 for his master's) used to occupy the locker two seats from mine, which should have been fine. He's an affable enough guy, always kidding around. Problem was that I was a center and he, a middle linebacker. Watching the two of us get ready for practice during two-a-days was kinda like watching Johnny Ringo and Doc Holliday pace around one another**. Derek once told my mother that he was "pleased to meet her [...] but your son tries regularly to injure me so I don't like him very much." No, seriously. And he is now a poppa twice over and recently told me that its "changed his life." Indeed. I'm sure he's not teaching his kids that if an obstacle pops up in life you should violently bury your helmet into its chest and attempt to bowl right over it. Although, it always seemed to work for him. Maybe he should run with that.
Derrick LeBlanc ('97) stopped by this past week with his son, who is now seven, on their way down to Breaux Bridge. Derrick was an offensive and defensive lineman for the Demons, and his son might have a hard time deciding where to play, too. He's built like dad, but can throw a perfect spiral and when I blocked his path to a tray of sausage upstairs, he did a spin move on me reminiscent of Vai Sikahema in his heyday***. Derrick was an offensive lineman and a fantastic mentor to me my freshman year until my meteoric rise (and by "meteoric," I mean "not even meteoric") to backup center allowed him to switch over to defense -- a move most unwelcome as far as I was concerned. And now the same guy who used to rip through opposing linemen, and is now coaching Missouri State Bear defenisve linemen to do the same, is, pardon the cliche, a "teddy bear" around his little boy (cue violins here). Given Missouri State's recent re-branding campaign --
From this http://www.boydsbears.com/ProductImages/products/boyds/2004/sws.jpg
To this http://www.grandcrownetravel.com/images/affil%20logos/MSU.jpg
-- the MSU Teddy Bears might be most unwelcome, though not the most odd mascot that Derrick would have ever been (seriously, wth is a "Reddie" anyway?).
Chris Collier ('01) and Adam Pennell ('02) have newborns that they are gaga over, which is amazing because the only thing I'd ever previously seen them this in love with was served over rice and came from Chef Wok. Nick and Collum, their little boys, are fortunate that their fathers will likely never require them to maintain 7,500 calorie a day diets the way we had to to stay in football shape****. In fact, last I heard, Adam was going to be in one of those Dan Marino Nutri-System commercials as Mike Golic's "after" photo*****.
Good to know that our Demon Nation is ever growing with guys like Big Al, The Guv'nor, Anvil, Bucket***, and The Streak at the helm. As frightening as that may sound, I assure you that its definitely a good thing.
~Wb
Footnotes:
*Ok, so that's a monkey not a gorilla. At least it wasnt these Gorillaz
http://www.popboks.com/img/albumi/gorillaz.jpg. Though I like that album alot. Catchy title.
**For the record, Neither Derek, or myself, ever misspoke Latin to one another or called the other a "huckleberry."
***Seriously, who saw that one coming? http://images.provopride.com/images/admin/vai.jpg.
****No, seriously, shaped like footballs. Women's Health calls this an "ectomorph." I mean, GQ.
*****Although, the backdrop to his MySpace page is a giant Snickers.
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